Open up to them about the reality of your situation and you will find your path forward. Now I am going to commit suicide…. Just pull over and cry it out. I need to now try to move of but think everyday what he has done. what if i want my ex to be dead? I was a faithful wife and the mother of his children. My ex-wife did some very bad things to me and i sometimes can’t let go of the pain she caused. Share On Facebook. so thanks to the state for nothing. What is keeping you in this marriage? I have been wishing death on my ex for 20+ years. divorce advice | divorce support | divorce help | divorce coaching, March 30, 2010 By Mandy Walker 127 Comments, Going through divorce is hard, traumatic. By Geoff Steurer, MS ... and responses need to die with the old marriage. Don’t tell her that in an e-mail or text. I deal with his toxicity by keeping him … If your ex … But a few years ago the loser showed up on my adult daughter’s doorstep with no job, no money, and no place to live. If you don’t want your spouse to benefit from your Estate, but you are not legally divorced, then it’s important to write a new Will stipulating your new wishes. Dinae, you are in a very difficult position. It’s not easy but you can do it. I understand how you feel Christine. How is there a just God anywhere. If you willed your entire estate to your spouse, and failed to change the will, your … In a way I think it’s just another asshole way of making me suffer since he couldn’t do it by being my life. The only people who see him don’t know what he’s done, or he’s lied about the extent of his conviction because he knows they’d disown him if they ever found out just how depraved he is. Hi Vanessa – many thanks for your comment – for advice please call the Jones Myers team on 0113 246 5555 . There were many times before our divorce that I fantasized about him dying – I know that was because it seemed like it would be easier than having the hard conversation. Our counselor agreed with our assessment that we would be better off divorcing.). Hiya. He stopped paying me child support and screwed me big time. AM(almost)A!Share your own thoughts about this post in the comments section below! Every day I pretty much wish he’d be killed somehow because that would be easier to live with than having to lie my way through a separation and divorce, the reasons for which we’ve blamed on his rather theatrical bouts of depression; because paedophilia is something nobody wants to discuss and I’m seriously scared of retaliation in our neighbourhood. It’s more that ending the marriage and getting divorced is perceived as being so difficult, that losing their spouse through death would mean they wouldn’t have to go through divorce. I’m thinking that you and your husband need to sit down and have an honest discussion – you need to be clear about what is acceptable behavior and what is not. I miss my ex but I think the universe is trying to tell me that I have to stop waiting for guys and start living my life. Apparently because she shares the same computer with her husband and she forgot to close this page and left the page up and he found it and came to some wrong conclusions. I Want My Ex Girlfriend Back. He said he is going to show the judge the text messages and it will prove I’m mentally unstable! It’s the same with your husband … make a list of what he does that upsets you and how you would like to deal with that, recognizing that you can’t make the pain go away. They couldn’t believe he was that dumb. I feel like I earned the right to be the grandparent. I am divorced after 46 years of marriage. Do you have friends or family members you can stay with temporarily? Take care of yourself. Silvia – if you are feeling this way, something needs to change. My last boyfriend was the same way but he had a different job. However, I’m also sure you must not want to hate them so much because feeling hatred puts you in a terrible mood. I failed to acknowledge that these issues still existed with my ex, and so “getting back together,” became nothing more than a very lame and watered down attempt at recreating a long lost honeymoon period that didn’t last. Until now, I haven’t been able to separate myself from our divorce and the after years. Then the phone rings in the middle of the night and my new husband turns on the light and just looks at me and says “******’s dead, His mothers on the phone. Minni – in what country are you located? You’ll both need to move out. PTSD after a sociopath is a full and whole body and mind experience. I hate my ex and I want her to die. I hate being his whipping boy- verbally only, he’s never hit me. He’s quite a nice guy but we’re hoplessly unsuited and as time goes on he annoys me more and more. But the worst feeling in the world is having feelings for someone who no longer wants to be with you, hang out with you, see you or call … My parents keep asking how I managed not to be able to "keep" that wonderful husband. State Pension rules changed in April 2016, and the updated rules changed what you are entitled to in the tragic event your partner dies. Nothing can feel … Too bad about the kids. Very observant Liana and in tomorrow's post Pippi talks more about the financial issues. Still not finding any peace from my dead husband’s mental, physical, and emotional abuse. Me, being the stupid and naive person I am, texted them to ask. He has much more money than I do and is able to give our children more material things…but he plays games with it as well. My Dad wasn’t there to give me away. Relationships teach us as much about ourselves as they do the other person. Then I figured it was better to divorce him. They will be able to help you formulate a plan for leaving safely. :-( ) If he just died, it would save so much stress and hurt for me and my kids. ha ha ha ha ha ha. I’m encouraged, excited to hear you say you want more in life and it may seem out of your reach but dramatic changes don’t ever happen overnight. I am guilty of this and felt very bad. Thanks for visiting! She said she was came across this site to help a friend going through a divorce. Talking this through with someone may help bring clarity to the choices you have. Marriage Counselling DOES NOT WORK , especially if husband doesn’t want to participate. I have no recourse. Pusscatty – Something has to change! He brought over $80k in debt to the marriage and is now retired trying to be the boss of my home. any caused i really wish his death . My husband was convicted of possessing over 250 indecent images of children… I know he had more, but the cops weren’t interested in finding any more than they did. His help to me: 0000000000000000000000000000000000000. His life is all built on lies – he even blamed me for triggering him to look at these disgusting pictures and presented that to the courts in his defence! If you've agreed one of you plans to stay, it’s usually best to explain this to your landlord and ask them to update the tenancy agreement. Her parents were opposed and still are opposed to divorce. How do we prepare our kids? It was a very superficial imagining because I never thought through any of the consequences such as how the children would feel. I have deep rooted hate for him , hate I never thought I could be capable of… it’s hard to forgive and forget when you felt like you were in a hostage situation being tortured and finally released only to have to keep in contact with the monster, because you have kids. If not, I would strongly recommend you find someone to help you. You have a simple choice – I think from what you are saying that your relationship is unlikely to change and so is this the relationship you want? I think the kids would miss him slightly (not the youngest. My ex is a major trouble maker. I hope you have the support of friends and loved ones. He was never there for me and he abused me. I feel like I am living the life of a servant, not a wife. hell. I am contemplating going back home, but without divorcing him — just living where I can be happy and surrounded by my … It changed him and he’s miserable physically and my kids and I are miserable mentally. Hi Gracie – I think you’re right – thoughts like this are not so unusual but people don’t talk about it. You always imagine it to be a very extreme situation or some mental illness involved. I am going through a nasty divorce. He did nothing do earn it. I would encourage to seek counseling – you would never have been able to save him and as long you keep thinking that you will have pain. He wasn’t perfect, but his wife is devastated and regrets that she came across this site in the first place. There are some really awful, hateful people that post here. We are divorcing and it’s costing me a fortune because he is such an asshole that has to control and contest EVERY aspect of the divorce. You can also check with your local women’s shelter to see if they can assist you with formulating a plan. Stop thinking how much you miss him and get a life!!! I feel guilty. I run a divorce recovery group locally which is really beneficial in helping people help from divorce so I would suggest you try finding one of these in your area. If your husband and you are not willing to work on your relationship then you need to find a way to end your marriage and separate. I passed the feeling of hatred long time ago. What is stopping you from separating now? I would encourage you do a complete analysis or work with someone who can. Start by trying to get a job, don’t care if it’s a minimum wage job, go get one. I am not a young woman, I am 63 and we have been married for 30 years. I have been married for three long years, that seems to never have an ending. I am the one who failed and i feel rejected. This jerk got a job at the NSA in Washington DC, and of course, he had to lie on his security clearance. I used to lay in bed and stare at my ex husband and wish he was dead. So, if you want to get your ex back, you have to show her by the way you interact with her from now on, that you are no longer the insecure, needy guy she remembers from the past. Heelling because he thinks we’re fine. I told my ex to die slow, don't miss me. I wish it everyday and I dont feel an ounce of guilt. I’m still financially supported by my parents so I don’t really care. Your husband could have handled this with much more compassion and I’m sorry you are now struggling financially. Inside she was miserable and couldn’t see a way out. Since an ex who wants you back is likely to do the opposite of what you expect, here are four real signs that he secretly wants you back. So I said something that I'd rarely said while we were married. He was an abusive drunk who drank up our savings, and later, he skipped out on support. How do you want to live the rest of your life? I have coached a lot of people who have taken their breakup really badly and who show strong signs of being totally depressed; I know how overwhelming the feeling of loss can be, but I also know that it is totally possible to snap out of this mental state rather quickly even when you’re thinking help I miss my ex… Say your ex broke up with you. Though in time i come to realize its better to let the person live her life and respect each other. Given this was your first serious relationship, you had no other means by which to compare. I felt devastated because I knew what it meant : it was not a divorce , it was a repudiation. Good luck! Can you share more about your situation? My ex slanders me everywhere. I really wish mine would so I could be glad too lol. © 2021 by Tango Media Corporation All Rights Reserved. I would never want to have to rely on someone else being what stands between me and fiscal disaster. Divorce means I lose my home, my environment, but his death means the disruption would be minimal and I wouldn’t have to pack my life up and leave. Mind you, he did the same thing to his ex-wife, his ex-girlfriend before me and I’m just finding this out. Neurotic and resentful women enabling the pathology of the Queen Neurotic in this comments section. I hope you have a good counselor. When you’re ex … (And, yes, we did work with a marriage counselor. 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